A New Life

I’m not spending twenty bucks on a fancy journal from the Hallmark store. How about a plain old composition notebook?

June 21, 1998

This whole eating disorders thing with Corey has really got my brain spinning. There’s no doubt that I care about him. He’s as important to me as every member of my immediate family. I know I love him but don’t really know for certain if its like Keith and Prez. That doesn’t matter much right now. What matters is, Corey getting better and getting out of that hospital. I want to do whatever I can to get him past this. But how?

When we got back from the hospital last night, I had a long talk with Keith, Prez and the ‘rents. I told them that I thought Corey’s sickness was partially my fault because I’m bi and he’s probably been trying to change to make me like him more. Of course, they all refused to accept that.

Dad said that Corey had to want to make changes and he brought them upon himself. "No one has the power to force someone to feel anything, especially love," dad said.

Mom even showed me the explanations of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa in one of her textbooks. She believes it starts as a self-image problem. That causes the person to change their eating patterns. Since Corey’s parents and me were forcing him to eat, he took the next step and started purging what he ate. Mom said that, more than any other excuse, its Corey’s desire to be thinner that brought this on and not his relationship with me.

During parts of the conversation, I thought about Corey. He really was not ever fat. When we first met, he was short and husky, not obese. We’ve both grown about four inches this past year, I guess. To me, he doesn’t seem much taller. But I have noticed that he is a little thinner around the waist and his shoulders have definitely gotten wider. Corey’s got what I would describe as a barrel rib cage.

There’s little doubt that some day he’ll grow taller than me. Corey’s dad isn’t an extremely tall man but he is big and hulky. When I see Mr. Seaver and dad together, I notice only a small difference in height. Mr. Seaver is an inch or two taller than dad. The big difference is when I see their profiles. Both of them have a little of the middle age spread but at the chest and shoulder area, Mr. Seaver is noticeably larger than dad is.

After mom and dad went to bed, I stayed awake watching TV with Keith and Prez. Rush and the three of us were all sitting around the living room floor.

Keith asked, "Have you ever shown Corey that you like the way he looks?"

"What do you mean?" I loudly asked. Quickly but more softly, I then said, "Of course I have! I’m having sex with him! It kinda follows that I’d like the way he looks!"

"Maybe," Prez said. Then he shrugged and said, "I’m not saying this is you but some guys just want dick. It doesn’t matter if the person isn’t attractive or acts like a complete jerk, as long as they get some now and then."

"Using someone like that is definitely not me," I said. But briefly I wondered if it was since I almost always went right for Corey’s dick. I wasn’t using him for sex! Sex isn’t all its about. We spent our first months together without any sex. Only since my birthday did we start jacking each other off and I can do that for myself real easy! No, Corey’s way more than a sex buddy. He’s someone to be with, someone to talk to that understands, or at least tries to understand.

I then asked, "If having sex with him doesn’t show that I like him and the way he looks, then what do I have to do?"

Facing me, Keith grinned widely. His eyes shifted towards Prez then back to me. Then he turned and faced Prez. The blank expression on Prez’s face was immediately replaced with a happy smile. Rush looked up at them and began wagging his tail. I snickered. Then Keith leaned forward and got on his hands and knees. Softly, Prez groaned, "Oh God Keith!"

Keith advanced and kissed Prez softly then he advanced a little more until Prez was lying flat on his back. Rolling up the front of Prez’s T-shirt part way, Keith then started to kiss and lick Prez’s tummy! Holding on to Keith’s shoulders, Prez obviously loved the attention! In between kisses and licks, Keith said, "You’ve gotta show him directly bro, so there’s no shadow of doubt left. Kiss his hips, his belly, his chest and every other part of him that you like." All during the demonstration, Keith’s hands wandered around Prez’s torso and upper legs.

I had thought of doing that kind of stuff with Corey but had always stopped myself. I don’t know why though. It just seemed to be taking things a little too far, I guess. Seeing how much they were both enjoying it, I grinned and thought aloud, "I’ll give it a try."

Prez rolled his head to face me and said, "If you do, you’d better be prepared for pay back time!" Then he began pulling on Keith’s shirt until Keith moved up and allowed Prez to remove it. Then Keith lay down on top of Prez and they continued making out!

Since they were obviously too preoccupied to talk with me any more, I snickered, "Good night," and went to bed.

Staring up at the ceiling with my hands behind my head, I began thinking about a few things. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always noticed the differences in body shapes. Keith was skinny until he turned fifteen. Only recently can I see some shape to my own chest and upper body. Honestly, I like Corey’s body shape a lot. It’s his facial expressions that have always gotten to me though. He’s got the coolest smile! I tried to imagine us much older. If we were still best friends in our thirties and if we both looked like our fathers, it wouldn’t bother me too much. Of course, I’d like to avoid the middle age belly spread. Then I started thinking of famous men. Naturally, it started with Taylor Hanson.

Tay is real cute and he’s got an awesome voice that gets a lot of attention. But all his good looks are in his face; not that that’s a bad thing. The rest of his body looks really thin though; too thin, from what I can see. In a few years, when we’re both around eighteen, I’ll probably still be watching Tay real close. For some reason, I feel like I’m in competition with him; like Tay’s the yardstick I’ll be measured against. Very strange.

On the other end of the spectrum is David Hasselhoff on Baywatch. Now there’s an older dude with a great body! All by itself, my dick shifted in my boxers! And Arnold Schwarzenegger is totally hot in T2! My dick shifted again!

Then I thought of the new James Bond, Pierce Brosnan. He’s in good shape for an older dude and the hair on his chest looks like the makeup crew pasted it there! My dick swelled and shifted some more!

Every movie that Steven Seagal has ever made immediately captures my attention too. He’s got a handsome face and muscular body but not overly defined. The only thing I don’t like is the ponytail but, judging by the reaction in my boxers, I could easily over look his hairstyle.

I went back to Baywatch but thought about Jeremy Jackson. Yeah! Hobie is so cool! He’s just a little older than me and he seems to have a barrel chest and a totally trim body. My dick didn’t just twitch it throbbed! If he were blond too, I probably would’ve made a mess! As it was, I had to reach one hand down to fondle myself a little.

Moving beyond movie stars, I thought about real people that I knew or had at least met. I thought back to the swim team tryouts last year. Matt Pang was the tallest, best looking dude on the team, in my opinion. And Brian Hammond was a running back on the football team. I interviewed him two or three times because he made game winning touchdowns. If I could’ve, I would’ve interviewed him a lot more! Then I thought about Mike and Derrick. They’ve both got barrel chests and nice bodies. But Derrick wins in my mind because he’s slightly taller and blond. Although I’ve never seen Nelson with his shirt off, I’m pretty sure he has a barrel rib cage and he’s in awesome shape. Then I remembered Keith’s friend, Jerry. He’s real tall and has a barrel chest too!

There’s no doubt in my mind that taller and bigger than me is part of what I consider attractive. I had never let my mind wander so freely before. Usually it was one dude that I fantasized about and that was either Tay or Corey. At first, my time was split pretty evenly between them. Honestly, I’ve been thinking less about Tay lately though. I haven’t been thinking of girls too often either. Occasionally, I think of Susan but when I include her in a fantasy, it doesn’t work out too well, except when I go off the deep end and imagine her with Corey and me. I can’t point out when I changed but lately, it’s always Corey.

I went to sleep thinking along the same lines, reviewing all the good-looking dudes I had ever seen and comparing them to Corey. This morning when I woke, I was so fucking horny! Omigod! If only my dick were longer, I would’ve poked holes through the mattress and into the concrete foundation under my bed!

On their way to the beach, Prez and Keith dropped me off at the hospital. During the ride, I told them about my ideas from last night, only to be sure that I didn’t say something incredibly stupid to Corey and make matters worse. I mean, how do I compliment his body when he absolutely hates the way he looks?

Prez said, "Give yourself some credit, Drew. If you explain everything to Corey and add a few well placed kisses along the way, I’m sure he’ll get the message, loud and clear." That was true and totally understood but I couldn’t imagine Corey and me making out or fooling around in the hospital. Some things would have to wait until he was back home.

"We’ve all got little things we don’t like about ourselves. All you can do is listen, maybe help him change what he doesn’t like or show him how its not such a bad thing after all," Keith added.

When I got to the hospital, I called Corey’s room from the lobby. Stupid hospital rules say that people less than sixteen have to be accompanied by an adult. Mrs. Seaver came down to get me. I got to see Corey awake for maybe a half hour but then nurses and a doctor came in the room and I had to leave. Mr. Seaver said they were doing more blood tests. Some of Corey’s levels are way off base and he may have to stay here another day.

I’m gonna help Corey get well but I swear, if I have to come back to the hospital again tomorrow, I’ll pound the living daylights out of him! He’s awake again. More later.

June 22, 1998

I stayed with Corey all day yesterday and we talked the whole time, mostly about dieting, exercise and food or about movie stars and body shapes. Corey said he was dieting so he would like his reflection in the mirror. He also told his mom and me that since he was being watched for after meal vomiting, he decided to try using laxatives. So what my mom said the other night was true. Since last week, he’s been drinking several glasses of Metamucil every day! Even though he says that he’s learned his lesson, I think his folks are as scared as I am. This is extremely fucked up!

Mr. and Mrs. Seaver drove me home last night. Before they dropped me off, they said that Corey would be released from the hospital today but that they needed some "family time". I totally understood and asked if I could call after dinner.

The nightmares I had last night were ridiculous! I kept seeing Corey getting thinner and thinner until he was just a walking, talking skeleton! Once I finally went back to sleep after that one, I had another. Corey was dead, lying in a coffin. I woke up sweating and shaking all over! The sun was rising and I could hear dad in the kitchen so I gave up on getting any more sleep.

This morning, I went to the beach with Keith and Prez. They tried to teach me how to surf but, after a few nasty tumbles into the water and getting my leg scraped in the sand, I gave up. I’ll stick to boogie boards and body surfing, thank you! We left Malibu around two this afternoon because they had to work tonight.

Now I’m home alone, writing and tossing a ball for Rush. After the ‘rents get home and we have dinner, I’ll probably go over Corey’s tonight. But right now, I’m gonna take a nap, without any stupid fucking nightmares, I hope.

June 24, 1998

I’ve been with Corey since Monday night and he’s laying here with me now. I asked his mom if Corey could come to Big Bear with us this weekend. All she said was, maybe. Corey has been eating, if that’s what you want to call it!

OW! WHAT?! Oh, it’s okay if I write about sex but not okay to write about his eating habits! Get over it!

Anyway! Monday night, Mrs. Seaver fixed pork chops. They were done with apple juice, brown sugar and cinnamon until the chops were glazed and so tender the meat fell off the bone. It was fucking delicious! But did Corey eat any? NO! He had mixed vegetables and plain macaroni! Yesterday morning, he had two slices of dry toast and a glass of OJ. Oh, ‘scuse me - and an apple too! For lunch, he nuked one of those frozen veggie burgers! Last night we had steak and baked potatoes but Corey had a pasta salad.

I think his mom invites me over just to eat Corey’s portions of meals! OW!

Corey says he’s gonna become vegetarian and never eat meat again! ~snickers~

OW!

Before I wind up battered and in the hospital, I’ll change the subject.

Corey and I came home today. Just getting Mrs. Seaver to allow Corey out of her sight took a good thirty minutes worth of promises! And Corey brought a backpack full of his special food! OW! Around four this afternoon, we get home, and I notice both Keith’s car and Prez’s 4-Runner parked in front of the house. I unlocked the front door and we stepped inside. Rush came to say hello.

Then Keith peeked around the kitchen wall saying, "Don’t you dudes want to go back out?"

"I’ve been gone for the last two days! I just got home!" I said, noticing that Keith was still hiding behind the kitchen wall. Only his face and one shoulder were visible. Corey put his backpack down and Rush went to check out the weird smells. OW!

Keith rolled his eyes and said, "Go back out again, just for a little while, pleeeeeeeease?"

Uh huh, yeah! This was more than a bit suspicious. I caught him again and knew it! Innocently, I asked, "Why?"

"It’s our anniversary," Keith quickly explained. Then I heard Prez snickering!

Corey cracked up and quickly covered his mouth.

"Why won’t you step out from behind the wall?" I teased.

Keith blushed and grinned, "Just give us five minutes to relocate."

"They’re having sex in the kitchen!" Corey softly giggled.

"And take Rush with you!" Prez laughed.

"This is gonna cost ya," I warned.

Keith frowned then nodded and said, "We’ll talk about it later." Then his face disappeared behind the kitchen wall!

Taking the dog’s leash out of the closet, I then put it over Rush’s head and we went outside. Corey laughed his ass off, staggering around and holding his belly until he finally stumbled and fell onto the front lawn. Rush loved seeing that as much as I did!

Taking a seat on the lawn next to him, I glanced at my watch. "They’ve got exactly five minutes," I warned.

Smiling insanely, Corey looked at me like my house was way more fun than Disneyland! After a few moments, Corey softly asked, "Are you still gonna follow me around tonight?"

I was sure he was referring to the bathroom and nodded, "Just for a little while longer Cor."

Softly he asked, "Are we ever gonna have fun in there again?"

I grinned and nodded, "Keep eating and get your strength back. I think you might need it."

"Oh really!" Corey laughed. Then he joked, "I’m not too weak to run away!"

I said, "If my sources are right, you won’t want to run away!" and held eye contact with him until he looked away and blushed! I really like it when I make him blush. OW!

For dinner tonight, mom made salad and spaghetti. But instead of mixing the tomato sauce into the bowl of spaghetti, she put the sauce in a bowl on the table so we could serve ourselves. Mom got us all talking about various foods and dieting while we ate. Generally, mom doesn’t keep cookies or cakes in the house. The only exception to that is during the Christmas holidays or for birthdays. There are plenty of various fruits around though and mom does look at the nutrition labels while she shops. She purposefully avoids everything that has high amounts of sodium. Still, she believes that meat is part of a well balanced diet. I never noticed before but she only prepares beef dinners once or twice a week. The rest of the time it’s chicken, lean pork or pasta. Corey still insisted that even small amounts of beef and pork have more fat than the body needs. Mom reminded him of the other vitamins and minerals in beef but agreed that we all need to be mindful of fats that can cause clogged arteries and heart disease.

Corey felt a little self-conscious talking about it all at first, he says. But soon, he started to really enjoy the conversation. No one ever really disagreed with anything Corey said. Prez said that, when he lived in Texas, he had a little more beef in his diet. I noticed Keith immediately looking down; concentrating on his plate like something remarkable was there. Prez looked over at Keith briefly, as if expecting something would be said. I thought, they are so bad they can’t hold a normal conversation without turning it into something sexual! After dinner, they returned to their room. From my room, Corey and I heard them loudly laughing and goofing on each other.

When the eleven o’clock news started, Corey and me said goodnight then went to the den. I purposefully waited until he was down to his boxers before I said a word. Then I went to him and rested my hands on his shoulders.

"Remember my birthday last year?" I asked, and Corey nodded then stepped closer to me. He rested his head on my shoulder and I whispered, "I wasn’t jackin’ your dick because I only like dicks. I like all of you."

"I know Drew," Corey softly said.

"I don’t think you do know. If you did then you would’ve never gotten so sick."

"It’s not your fault. I told you that I want to look better for me," Corey insisted.

I desperately wanted to believe that. Stepping back, I then led him to the sofa sleeper. We hadn’t opened it up yet so we sat down. I smiled, "Cool. You’ll need to prove it by treating yourself better," and then leaned over slowly, like Keith had done with Prez the other night. But Corey didn’t wait for me to kiss him. Instead, he stole the first kiss. I kissed him back then kissed his cheek, his chin and his nose. We grinned at each other for a long few moments then I went for an earlobe and started gently sucking. Running his hands up and down my arms slowly, Corey sighed and giggled. Then he knocked my elbows, my arms collapsed and I fell on top of him. We both started laughing.

All the other times we were together having sex were really good. But there’s always been some reason to hurry, fear of getting caught, parents or brothers coming home, whatever. Tonight, we went really slowly. It was something special. Corey totally agrees and thinks we should do it that way from now on.

June 26, 1998

Corey had a doctor appointment this morning so I spent the beginning of the day at the beach with Keith, Prez, Mike and Derrick. Then we came back home and rocked the neighborhood!

In a few hours, Corey will be here and the ‘rents will be home from work. Then we’ll be going to Big Bear for the weekend. Prez and Keith will be staying home. They say it’s because they have to work but I know better since I overheard part of their conversation. Prez wanted to go to Big Bear but Keith promised a good time here at home.

Keith is pretending to be highly perturbed because both John and me are already doing what he did only last year with Prez. We were all surprised when Kim’s parents decided to let her come along. She’ll be sleeping in the cabin with the ‘rents while the three of us stay awake late and get crazy. I do kinda wish that Keith and Prez were coming but I think they’ll be plenty happy having the whole house to themselves.

I really expected Corey’s folks would say he couldn’t come. Corey and me both know that our mom’s talk constantly. Even when we weren’t speaking to each other, they were still yakking on the phone! As much as it’s driven me crazy, I guess it’s probably a good thing or Corey would be left behind, I’m sure of it.

John is so stoked that Kim is coming to Big Bear too! This morning, before Prez and Keith were awake, I found John in the bathroom. I turned the knob and it was locked! I yelled for him to unlock the door before I had an accident!

John yelled, "Yeah, yeah, okay just a sec!"

But he didn’t open the door right away and I heard him shuffling around, rearranging things behind the door. When he finally opened the door, he was grinning and toweling off his face. I shook my head and went past him to the toilet and started leaking. Then John threw the towel in the hamper and started to leave. But I saw red blood stains on the towel!

As John raced from the bathroom I hollered, "Hey! Are you okay?"

"Whaddaya mean? I’m fine," John yelled back.

Yeah, right. I hurried at the bowl and flushed then went after John. He had locked our bedroom door too! Pounding on the door, I yelled again because I was a little worried. Finally, John opened the door. His face was covered with little scratches, especially over his top lip and around his chin. Suddenly, it hit me.

"Did you get a new razor out?" I grinned knowingly.

John blushed, "Yeah but I guess I didn’t do it right."

I laughed, "I don’t know why you tried doing it at all! What’ve ya got, maybe ten little hairs over your lip?"

"SO!" John yelled. I cracked up, grabbed his arm and led him back to the bathroom. As I reached for a few sheets of toilet paper, I ragged on John. "I don’t know what the hell you were thinking! You’re thirteen bro! Dad will let you know when its time to shave, just like he does with Keith and me." Then I handed John some T paper and showed him how to cover the little scratches.

"I told Kim that I shaved so I kinda had to," John sadly said.

I chuckled softly then introduced John to the electric razor! While John finished patching his face, I went to our room and made another little sign. It read: "I’ve got a girlfriend and can now do the stupidest shit for her sake!" I slapped it against John’s back but he quickly tore it off, crumpled it up and threw it at me! Corey’s gonna piss himself when I tell him!

I had a chat with Keith and Prez a while ago, after we got back from the beach. From beyond the closed door, I could hear the TV. It sounded like they were watching Oprah! That is just too gay! I knocked on the door and prayed, please let them be having sex and not really watching Oprah!

In a high, cracking voice, Prez giggled, "Who is it?"

Hearing them scurrying around for clothes and spraying air freshener, I chuckled, "It’s me."

Almost a minute later, Keith unlocked and opened the door. "Wassup, bro?" he nonchalantly asked, and then joined Prez on the bed.

I pulled out the desk chair, sat down and grinned, "It still smells like sex in here."

"We’ve hardly left this room for two days!" Prez laughed. "What did you expect?"

Shaking my head, I asked, "Does mom know you were having sex in the kitchen?"

Keith laughed, "No!"

"How do you know we were having sex in there?" Prez slyly asked.

"I guess I don’t but it sure seemed that way," I admitted.

Prez grinned and looked up at the ceiling, as if innocent and I would believe it! Then Keith asked, "Did you want something, Drew?"

I nodded then thought for a long minute how to phrase it.

"It’s about sex, isn’t it?" Keith asked. I nodded again.

Prez asked, "Oral or anal?"

I softly said, "Anal," and felt my face heat up. Some day I really have to get a little bit of control over the blushing, I thought. "I’m pretty sure Corey’s getting ready to try it. If he does, then sooner or later, I’ll have to try it too," I told them.

"Don’t worry about it Drew," Prez said, "You don’t have to both do it the same night. My first time was a good two months after Keith’s."

Surprised, I asked, "Really?"

They both nodded and Keith asked, "Have you been trying anything down there?"

I nodded, "A little. It feels okay around the outside but sticking even a little bit of a finger inside hurts."

Keith said, "It’s a muscle bro. You can loosen it and tighten it with a little concentration. Finger nails are a hassle too so be sure to keep them trimmed short."

Then Prez suggested, "You could have Corey help you, ya know? Keith helped me."

Surprised, I glared at my big bro. Keith laughed, "It was fun!"

"And I actually looked forward to it too!" Prez chuckled.

I couldn’t help but laugh too. Then I said, "It’s smelly and embarrassing as hell too, I’ll bet."

"The embarrassment is part of why it’s so much fun!" Prez laughed.

Then Keith suggested, "And you can always take a quick shower if you’re hoping to have sex that night."

"So, umm… how do I make sure it doesn’t hurt too much?"

"Make sure you’ve lubed your butt and keep using your fingers at first," Keith said.

Prez said, "Then we moved to candles. Snip off the wick and mold it a little so there’s no sharp edges."

Then Keith rolled over, opened his night table drawer and threw a box of candles at me! No sooner did I catch the candles, he leaned over again, reached into the drawer and tossed a real dildo at me!

I caught it and yelled, "OMIGOD! It’s pretty big!"

Prez laughed hysterically, "That’s not even the big one!"

Reaching back into the night table drawer, Keith then pulled out another, even bigger dildo! "HOLY SHIT!" I hollered. Keith and Prez fell all over each other laughing hysterically. It was huge! So huge, in fact, that I couldn’t imagine a dude with a cock that size. It had to be close to a foot long and really fat. "That’s like a Jolly Green Giant sized one!" I commented.

"There are real guys with cocks that big," Prez said.

"Probably mutants," I mumbled.

"You could borrow them, if ya want," Keith said. "Just make sure they’re cleaned after every use and when you return them, okay?"

"You can put that humongous one back!" I said. Then I looked closer at the smaller dildo I was holding. It was slightly longer than Corey but about the same thickness.

Keith said, "You can keep the candles. Go slow and easy bro, don’t hurt yourself hurrying."

There was one other thing I wanted to ask but I wasn’t sure if I should. After a few seconds, I held up the dildo and asked, "Can I bring this to Big Bear?"

Keith and Prez grinned at each other then they nodded. I got back to my room and started writing. The dildo, rubbers and KY are packed in my gym bag. Oh shit! Corey’s here! That’s all for now!

June 27, 1998

I just got out of the shower and now Corey’s in there. John’s gone out with Kim and our folks. I’d like to be in the shower with Corey but there’s barely room for one person in that little stall.

It was almost nine o’clock by the time we got to Big Bear last night. During the ride, I asked Corey to tell me about his doctor visit. They took more blood from him to check his levels, glucose and electrolytes, he said. The doctor told him, for his height and body type, that he should weigh between one hundred thirty and one hundred fifty pounds. Then Corey stepped on the scale. He weighs one hundred twelve pounds! The doctor said that Corey has to eat more eggs, meat and other high protein foods. But Corey argued and said that he would not eat any red meat ever again. He likes the beans and stuff in his pasta salads and he says they have protein. The doctor said that was enough protein for an adult but not for Corey. He said he would try to have a little chicken or fish once in a while. The doctor suggested high protein drinks and Corey reluctantly agreed when threatened with another trip to the hospital to be fed intravenously.

This morning, I skipped breakfast and tried some of the powdered high protein drink with him. It was supposed to taste like vanilla but honestly, it was nasty! Corey didn’t seem to mind it though and chugged it down.

It’s really strange. Corey doesn’t look like he’s starving at all. His collarbone protrudes a little bit more than usual but overall, I don’t see a problem and I’ve been really checking him out all day. The doctors obviously don’t like what they’re seeing in the blood tests though. One thing is for certain, I know Corey a lot better now. We’ve been talking about almost all the stuff I’ve thought of during the last few days. I have to be really persistent to get him to tell what he’s been thinking. He’s still holding something back though, I’m sure of it.

Heaven forbid it should appear to his folks that he’s gotten worse after a weekend away with me. I’ve been throwing all kinds of food his way, even stuff I know he won’t eat, like Hostess chocolate cup cakes. Corey says he hasn’t had any kind of cake or cookie since his birthday. I warned him that he absolutely had to have at least some of my birthday cake in August.

Shower’s off, gotta go!

June 30, 1998

We got back from Big Bear late last night. Corey’s got another doctor appointment today so he’s home now. This has been the best weekend! I’m gonna try and recall everything and write it all down so I never forget.

Saturday night, after Corey finished in the shower, he came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel. After a day out at the lake, Corey’s tan glowed. The blond hair on his arms and legs contrasted against the golden color of his skin. He went to the table and got an apple. Then he turned on his little stereo and sat there eating. From the bed, where I was sitting, I could see under the towel, almost all the way to his crotch. He was really lookin’ good and my heartbeat quickened. Noticing me watching him, Corey smiled widely.

"It’s good to see you eating without being told," I grinned.

Corey swallowed then said, "I never thought I would wind up in the hospital and seeing two doctors a week. That counselor better say something useful soon or I’m gonna wind up napping in his office." After taking another bite of his apple and swallowing, he softly said, "I’m sorry I scared you."

He sounded so sincere; it brought tears to my eyes. I got up and went to him saying, "I’m sorry I’ve been a dick the last few days."

"How’ve you been a dick? Because you’re following me into the bathroom?" Corey asked, and I nodded. Then he said, "You’ve been great dude. I was a total asshole the other night and made you sleep on the floor. I’m sorry about that too." He paused again, like he wanted to say something but decided not to. Instead, he said, "No more purging, I promise. It’ll be easier to convince you than my mom or those doctors. I just wish…"

I sat on a chair beside him and waited a few moments then asked, "Just wish what?"

"Lots of things," Corey said softly. But rather than continue, he grinned and chomped on his apple.

I asked, "Ya wanna know what I wish?" and Corey nodded. "First off, I wish I wasn’t bi. It really is more than I can deal with. At the lake today, I felt really weird. I think I made myself dizzy looking at all those hot bods walkin’ around."

Corey snickered, "There was a lot of ‘em."

"Now what do you wish?" I asked. Corey’s smile vanished and he took the last bite from his apple then tossed the core in the trash. I playfully insisted, "Come on, what do you wish?"

"You know already," Corey softly said.

Damn! He can be so stubborn! I was disappointed and told him so. "You’ve been hiding things from me dude," I softly said. "That’s the worst part of everything that’s happened the last few weeks."

"You want the truth?" he asked.

"I always tell you the truth, even when I think you may not like hearing it."

He said, "I wanna be as tall as you but no taller so I don’t have to reach to kiss you. I want a trim body and perfectly cut abs, just like Keith."

I had to laugh. "I’m not laughing at you," I quickly chuckled, "it’s how Keith got those abs that cracks me up." Through broken laughter, I explained how my horny, sex-crazed brother did sit-ups and other exercises rather than beat his meat all day long! Corey giggled and I took his hand in mine saying, "If you want cut abs then you’ll probably have to do more exercising. I could use more muscles in my arms so we’ll exercise together; I’ll do pushups while you so sit-ups. In another year or so you might look more like Derrick. And I gotta say, if you do, we’ll both be in a lot of trouble!"

"Why?" Corey grinned.

I tried not to blush but did any way and said, "Every part of you that I kissed the other night, I really love those parts of you."

"You love the top of my head?" Corey giggled.

"I really like blond hair," I admitted. Before I could stop myself, I told him, "I love your eyes, your smile, your chest, your back, your legs… even your butt is way cute. And it’ll all get so much better in the next year or two."

"You don’t mind that I’ll probably be taller than you?"

"Not in the least. As a matter of fact, I’m kinda looking forward to it."

"And chest hair? My dad’s got a lot of hair on his chest."

"My dad has some too, so what? Keith’s got a few hairs around his nips and Prez has some right down the center. As long as we don’t wind up looking like Neanderthal’s, I think I can deal."

Corey grinned and stared at me for a few long moments. "I’m feeling really weird the last few days," Corey softly admitted. "I think I love you but at the same time, there’s no one else that can get me as angry as you can. I was so pissed last week when you came over to talk with my parents and me. I know you were scared and all but that didn’t keep me from getting angry. I could barely control what I was saying."

"It’s the same here. I was plenty upset when you wound up in the hospital last weekend," I said. "I think that’s part of love and something we need to learn to deal with." After a short pause I said, "I don’t want a blond copy of Keith for a boyfriend. I want you."

Corey wiped stray tears from his eyes then we both stood and hugged tightly. Then we started kissing. I pulled the towel off him and led him to the bed. Corey pushed my shorts off me and was ready to suck my dick but I pulled him up for another tight hug. I whispered, "Ya wanna try something different?"

Corey whispered, "Sure, I guess."

Wanting to continue holding him and feeling a little nervous, I didn’t move away but briefly squeezed him tight again. Corey pulled back, grinned and tilted his head curiously.

I smiled, "You’re getting ahead of me again," and then kissed his forehead. I then went to my gym bag to get the lube and dildo.

The moment he saw the dildo, Corey’s eyes widened and he loudly asked, "Where’d you get a real dildo?" He then quickly came to me, took the dildo and started checking it out.

I laughed at his reaction and said, "Borrowed it from Keith and Prez. I don’t even want to know where they got it!"

Corey laughed hysterically then glared at me. I could almost hear his words spoken through the look in his eyes. "You wanna use that thing on me, don’t ya?"

Uncontrollably, I blushed then softly explained, "I’m having a little trouble reaching down there and was kinda hoping we could help each other?"

For a long few moments, he glared at me again. There was disbelief in his eyes. I was starting to think that I had crossed some invisible boundary and Corey didn’t want to play this game. But then he tossed the dildo on the bed, took me in his arms and then started kissing and sucking my neck.

Omigod! That felt so good! It’s not like he hasn’t kissed my neck before but the sucking was just outrageous! My knees actually buckled!

With Corey still attached to me, I moved us around so we could get on the bed before I collapsed and lost it without even touching my dick! I began crawling over him so I could do him first but Corey flipped us over then said, "Since I’ve gotten further and know what to do, I think you need to go first."

That made perfect sense but I playfully argued and half tried to roll us over again anyway. We wrestled around for a few minutes, each of us allowing ourselves to be pinned to the mattress. Finally, Corey grabbed my legs and stood up, pushing forward until I was bent in half. I could feel his hard dick brushing against the back of my legs! "No more ifs, ands or buts about it!" he giggled, "I’m gonna play with your butt first!"

Really, there’s no one else in the world I could ever wrestle with and not get seriously claustrophobic. Unable to reach him to try and break free, I laughed, "Okay, okay!"

Kneeling down with my legs draped over his shoulders, Corey started looking around for the lube and dildo. I looked around too but didn’t see them. "Fuck!" Corey mumbled, and then got up to search for them. "Don’t you move!" he warned, and then looked under the bed. While Corey hunted, I started cracking up because suddenly I knew how Keith and Prez managed to wreck their bedroom! We hadn’t even really begun and our bed was a total shambles!

I looked over the edge of the bed. He was on his hands and knees with his ass in the air! Corey hollered, "Got ‘em!" then he looked up and saw me and yelled, "I told you to stay still!"

"I ain’t goin’ anywhere," I giggled, and got back into position with my legs spread wide and bent at the knees. The twinge of anticipation in my gut was building. I’d imagined Corey going first. Now I was lying naked, waiting to discover a new kind of pleasure that I completely expected would come with a little bit of pain.

Smiling widely, Corey crawled onto the bed, between my legs and flipped open the KY. While drawing a bead of lube around his thumb, he asked, "You’ve been planning this, haven’t you?"

I nodded, "That’s why I was so quiet at dinner. I was really nervous."

He turned his attention between my legs then plainly said, "I’ve always wanted to do this stuff with you, Drew."

Shocked, I said, "Really?"

Moving his lubed thumb down to my ass, Corey nodded, "We could’ve gone all the way on your birthday or any other time since." Then he looked into my face and I felt his slippery wet thumb press gently against my hole. "Okay so far?" he whispered.

I nodded and hummed. Corey rolled his thumb around the outside for a few minutes, during which time; his other hand began massaging my nads and hard dick. It felt so relaxing but exciting at the same time! Shifting his attention from my ass to my face, he smiled down at me. My heart practically exploded. Tears welled up in my eyes and I wiped them away.

Corey smiled and wiped his face. Softly, he then said, "I was nervous all those times too."

"You were?"

He nodded, "That’s why I took baby steps, because you wanted to. Rather than scare you away, I let you lead. I waited until you were ready to take the next step, all the time hoping you’d take it all the way."

"Knew about it, dreamed about it but couldn’t have done it. I’m still not totally sure about it. That’s why I brought the dildo," I softly admitted. But I couldn’t believe we were having a conversation while we were having sex! His thumb was playing around my back door and we were talking like it wasn’t any big thing! I grinned.

Corey began pressing harder against my hole every few seconds but mostly rubbing the outside. Smiling down at me, Corey asked, "Wanna try more?" I nodded. "Relax your butt hole, like you’re gonna take a huge shit," Corey instructed.

I concentrated and did as he asked. His thumb traveled lazily around then pressed against my hole and I clutched the blankets. He was in. At least it felt like he was in. It burned a little at first. "Is it all the way in?" I gasped.

"Up to the second knuckle," he said. Then he asked, "Still okay?"

"It stung for a second or two there. Now I just feel full," I answered truthfully.

"Try not to think about it," Corey whispered. Then he let go of my cock and reached for the KY again. Once my cock was lubed, he started stroking.

Within moments, everything felt fantastic! I could feel his thumb moving slightly in my butt. My hole would spasm with each stroke of my cock and it felt awesome! Loving the new sensations, I glared at him and whispered, "I love you Cor."

"I love you too," he said. Not too long after, Corey stroked up my cock and I could feel his thumb pulling out of my ass.

Believing he had done enough and was ready to switch places, I said, "That was awesome!" But suddenly, he forced his tightly clasped hand down my cock and slid his thumb back in! My eyes jumped out of their sockets and I hollered.

Corey giggled, "Was that a good `AH!’ or a bad one?"

My heartbeat felt like it tripled but there was no pain or discomfort down by my butt. Shaking my head, I said, "Dunno, try again."

Again, Corey stroked up my cock, pulling his thumb most of the way out. Then he pushed his fist down and his thumb back in.

My heart felt like it would fly through my ribs any second and my brain was turning into mush. I groaned then smiled widely and said, "It’s good, really good."

Corey then began rocking his thumb up and down inside my ass while stroking my cock fast. That felt even better! Then he started moving his thumb in various directions but keeping a nice steady rhythm on my dick. Every now and then, I felt his thumb hit one spot inside me that made me shudder with pleasure. Nothing I had ever experienced felt that good! As hard as I tried to control myself, my hands were moving from my chest down to the top of my thighs and back again. My skin felt like crushed velvet and I could feel every sensation racing through me. After a while, Corey’s thumb slid out of my ass.

Grinning madly, I glared at him and said, "Don’t stop!"

He smiled, "Got to. My thumb is numb and a little sore." Then Corey picked up the dildo.

For a few moments I watched Corey lube the dildo. It was way longer and much fatter than a thumb. Frightened, I whispered, "Take it slow and easy, okay, Cor?"

Nodding, Corey said, "The second anything hurts, just say so and I’ll stop," and then moved the dildo down by my butt hole. He began sliding it over and around my hole. It felt so good! I could feel my hole expanding and contracting. Corey’s full attention was between my legs. Then I felt him pushing harder. It didn’t hurt but it wasn’t making it inside me either. Corey kept sliding it around my back door and said, "I never thought you’d want to do this."

"It’s only fair," I said, and then explained it like Keith had for me. "We’ve both got the same equipment. I couldn’t do you and then not allow you to do me too."

"It really starts to feel better than good. So good, you won’t ever want to stop," Corey said.

Giggling at the enthused way he said that, my hole loosened and the dildo slipped inside. Before it slid any further inside, my hole clamped down again and I started gasping for breath. Damn, it felt huge! And it was cold too! I reached down for my cock but found I had gone mostly limp.

Judging by the look on his face, Corey was just as surprised as I was! We glared at each other for a few moments then Corey lifted both of his hands. "You could push it out, if ya want," Corey softly suggested.

Still unable to speak, I shook my head. At that moment, I didn’t want it out or any further inside me either. The dildo wasn’t that much larger than either of us but it felt like a baseball bat!

Lying beside me, Corey kissed my cheek then whispered, "Just try and relax." He started rubbing my chest but watched my face.

My breathing slowly returned to normal and my butt relaxed too. "How much is in?" I asked.

"Two, maybe three inches," Corey answered.

"Push it all in."

"No way! This is your first time and you’ve already done pretty good."

"This is good? I feel like a complete wimp."

Shaking his head, Corey grinned, "It’ll get better but it takes repetition. At first, just having it inside is enough."

"We’ve got all summer," I agreed.

Corey reached down and began fondling my dick, bringing it back to full hardness within a minute. He giggled softly, "I hope Keith and Prez aren’t looking forward to getting their toy back!" I smiled at him and he said, "Just watching you and knowing what you must be feeling is killing me! I wanna do this with you every night from now on!"

I got the hint and reached over his arm to get at his dick. He was completely hard and the head was really wet. Corey’s eyes closed and he took a deep breath. When he opened them again, it was like I had never looked into his eyes before. They seemed bluer and very shiny. Everything I saw and heard was building up in my cock. I didn’t want to cum yet. Corey didn’t seem to be ready either. But I couldn’t say a word and I didn’t let go of his cock. We kissed hard, humming and grunting to encourage each other. With my hips moving from Corey’s stroking, the dildo slipped a little further inside me. It was pressing right against that really good spot too! I tried to hold back as long as I could, hoping that Corey would shoot first. It was no use though. I fell back, breaking our kiss, gasping for air and drenching us both in more jizz than I had ever shot before! It was like twenty orgasms released at once, I swear! It even hit my neck! I had never gotten further than the center of my chest before. And my ass was twitching like crazy! It was Corey’s expert use of the dildo that added just the right stimulation to create my best orgasm ever.

While I was still zoned out, Corey wrapped his hand over mine and helped me finish him off. Rolling my face towards him, I watched as the tension built then suddenly released with a huff of hot breath. He shot an amazing amount, completely drenching his stomach. And he did it while gazing past half open eyes at me!

As soon as he was done, I rolled over on top of him, causing the dildo to fall out of my ass. Tenderly, I kissed him then whispered, "I love you Corey. I’ve always loved you."

Wrapping his arms around me, Corey softly said, "I love you too Drew. It would be awesome if we could be like this for the rest of our lives."

He’d never said anything quite like that before. Briefly, I wondered if he was referring to us being teenagers, or maybe he meant something about our height and weight. But just maybe, he meant everything, him and me as boyfriends as well as those other things. To be certain I heard what he meant, I said, "I’d like it if we stayed together forever too."

"You mean it?" he asked, and I enthusiastically hummed yes.

Silently, we lay like that for a few minutes. I knew exactly what we had said and done. I knew what it meant too. Sooner or later, Corey and I would get like Prez and Keith! I imagined some of our classmates asking us if we were gay. Staring them down, I’d quickly answer yes. But Corey would say, "He likes girls a little more than me but for right now, yeah, we’re a couple." It was scary but something I could almost see us doing, though it might take us a few years.

Smiling, I started to get up off him. The puddles of cum had dried between us and glued us together though! Eventually breaking each small splotch, we stood.

Picking up the dildo, I snarled, "My ass feels funky, dude. It’s all wet, like I shit myself or something."

Following me into the small bathroom, Corey howled with laughter. Smiling insanely, Corey said, "There’s no mess, it’s just the lube. Did you really like it?"

"Oh hell yeah! It was pretty good for a first time," I enthusiastically said, then stepped into the shower with the dildo and started to clean it.

Moments later, over the sound of the shower, Corey hollered, "Dude! It’s almost ten thirty! When will your folks be back?"

"Before midnight is all dad said," I yelled back.

"We’d better hurry then. Leave the water running when you’re done so I can rinse off real quick."

While soaping and scrubbing the dildo, I answered, "Sure," but Corey didn’t hear me and opened the shower door.

Noticing the way I was roughly cleaning the rubber dildo, Corey hollered, "Ugh! Thank goodness you don’t do that to me!"

I cracked up then said, "Keith told me to make sure it’s clean before every use." Then I rinsed it off under the water and showed it to him saying, "Good as new. Tomorrow night it’s your turn!"

Grinning, Corey stepped inside the small shower stall, started fondling my dick and teased, "What if I want the real thing?"

"Wouldn’t you rather wait till I’m ready for the real thing too?"

Corey looked up at me saying, "That sounds really great. But ask me again tomorrow and you’ll get a different answer." Then he kissed me.

The ‘rents, John and Kim came back around eleven thirty that night. By that time, Corey and me had cleaned up and fixed the bed so it didn’t look so wrecked. We were sitting at the table playing Scrabble because the batteries died in our Gameboys. Mom and dad soon said good night and went to the other cabin with Kim. Kicking off his sandals, John went into the bathroom and, moments later came out again wearing only his boxers.

Tossing his shorts and shirt on his bed, John loudly bitched, "There’s no hot water!" Corey and me grinned at each other. Then John ran to his bed and picked up a pillow hollering, "I wonder why there’s no hot water!" Quickly, I started putting the Scrabble pieces away while Corey took the first wallops from the pillow and started struggling with John for possession!

The next morning, Corey took his vitamins and drank his protein drink then we went to have breakfast across the street. He wouldn’t have eggs or pancakes but ordered a "continental breakfast". I didn’t know what it was until it was served. There was nothing but toast and various fruits on his plate! He ate it all though. Of course, I had to offer him some bacon from my plate.

Corey wrinkled his nose and said, "Fried pig flesh! And scrambled chicken embryos! Blech!"

I groaned and chuckled at his descriptions of my breakfast. Across the table, I noticed John trying not to smile but Kim looked like she might be violently ill if another word was said.

Even more remarkable was John checking to see what Kim wanted to do with the day. Saturday morning, John and Kim joined Corey and me at the lake but stayed only for about an hour or two. The rest of the day, they spent gallivanting around with the ‘rents. John loves swimming at least as much as I do but he willingly went along with whatever Kim decided. I didn’t say anything to him about it and John didn’t complain so I guess he had a good time.

At the lake Sunday, after tossing the Frisbee around and cooling off a bit, Corey and I started whispering, commenting on the other people. I’d point out whom I thought looked good and Corey would do the same. Every one of the boys that Corey pointed to was so extremely skinny! I mean, they hardly had any muscle any where – skinny arms, skinny legs, skinny butts – not once did Corey point out a dude with a medium build, like Keith or Prez or even me. The taller and better-built dudes that I liked only made Corey shrug and nod his head a little.

I wondered, maybe Corey doesn’t think I’m all that good looking either since I didn’t seem like any of those boys that he pointed out.

"What’s the matter?" Corey asked, breaking my train of thought.

I sighed and softly said, "I don’t look anything like anyone you pointed out."

"Aww, that don’t mean I love you any less. Those are just the dudes that caught my eye, ya know? There’s so much more that’s lovable about you."

"Like?" I asked.

Corey looked at me for a few long moments then said, "Like your puppy dog brown eyes or the sound of your laugh. The way you hug me and everyone else in your family is way cool too, ‘specially since I kinda know why you do it."

Suddenly, I realized that my own little bit of insecurity could be turned around and used as an example for Corey. I love the way he looks and the way he acts, sometimes the stuff he thinks about too. Basically, that was the same stuff he was saying about me. Smiling widely, I looked down at the sand, hoping Corey would think I was being bashful.

After a few moments silence, Corey shouted, "You rat!" Then he poked my ribs and yelled, "What’s so funny!" I jumped up and grinned at him then took off for the lake before I busted up laughing. He chased me round and round, into the lake and back out of it, until we were both too tired to continue. I could tell by the look in his eyes that I didn’t need to explain anything to him.

During dinner at the restaurant, my mom made Corey order a chicken or fish dinner. Corey tried to talk my mom into various other vegetarian meals listed on the menu but that only made mom shoot fire from her eyes. Eventually, Corey ordered a broiled chicken dinner. He ate almost all of it too, leaving only a very small piece behind. But he ate all his vegetables, a big baked potato and some bread sticks too.

After dinner we all went to the movies. Kim, John, Corey and me saw ‘Deep Impact’ while my folks went into a different theater. It was an exciting movie but, for me, it was too dramatic and needed more humorous parts; like the scene where the one kid tells Elijah that "sex is the best reason for becoming famous". I think I laughed a little too loudly when I heard that!

Then, finally, Corey and I got a chance to be alone. The second the cabin door was closed and locked, Corey started stripping off his clothes! I was still fully dressed but his dick was completely hard when he kissed me. Then he said that he needed to take a quick shower. I was so glad that I didn’t have to ask him if he had taken a shit or if he was dirty down there! While Corey was in the shower, I got undressed, got the lube and dildo, then laid on the bed, waiting for him to finish.

The water was turned off then the bathroom door opened. Corey was toweling his hair dry as he practically sprinted to the bed and jumped up next to me! He didn’t even really dry any other part of himself other than his hair! I roared laughing! Then Corey flopped down, smiled widely and started sucking on my tit! It felt pretty good but not as good as him sucking on my neck. Pulling himself closer, Corey snuggled next to me and grinned.

"Ready?" I asked.

Corey nervously giggled, "Have been all day!"

Gently, I pushed him flat then scanned the entire length of his body. He was so handsome! Without delay, I kissed him again, whispered, "I love you", then moved between his widely spread legs. Instead of sitting Indian style, like he had the previous night, I laid down so I could see what I was doing. My face was very close to his crotch and he smelled so good after a shower, I started licking his nads. They’re not very hairy yet but pubes never bother me, unless a loose one gets stuck in my teeth and I have to stop what I’m doing to remove it! I’d never licked his jewels before but this time I didn’t even think; I just did it.

Obviously loving it, Corey sighed then whispered, "You’re always so good to me."

While I continued lovingly licking, I thought, yeah, you’re good to me and good for me too. I reached for the lube and squirted way too much onto my thumb. I reached down to his anus and started spreading the lube around. Corey lifted one leg and rested it across my back. I could see it more clearly now. His hole was twitching, expanding and contracting like mine had done. Seeing his hole made my heart beat faster and stronger, almost painfully pounding in my chest. I shifted a little so I could look at his face but then went right back to work, licking his nads and rubbing his hole. Corey was smiling and breathing heavily as I did my best to make him feel good. Obviously, I was doing it right.

The next time I saw his hole expand, I slid my thumb inside. He clamped down and it was like a vice squeezing my thumb! Corey didn’t cry out like I had but inhaled deeply then sighed. When I started moving my thumb around inside him, Corey tapped my shoulder. "Don’t move the fingertip so much. Move the other end around the outside," he whispered.

Immediately, I did as he instructed and was about to ask if I had hurt him when suddenly Corey groaned. With my head still resting on his thigh, I felt him shiver. This worried me so I stopped moving my thumb.

Excitedly, Corey said, "That was so good! Do it again, just like that!"

Stunned a bit, I grinned then moved the base of my thumb and twisted my wrist a little, just like the first time. Corey started humming. Then his arms began moving, rubbing himself and me too. He shifted down towards me a little and whimpered. This was totally cool! I wasn’t even touching his cock but Corey was in heaven! Even though my thumb was starting to hurt, I continued moving it around then pausing and moving it around, back and forth. Of course, seeing Corey enjoying himself so much made my hips move, lightly rubbing my hard cock over the sheets.

After a minute or two, Corey breathlessly heaved, "I can’t wait any more," and handed me the dildo.

I was almost thankful that I could finally pull my aching thumb out of his bumm! It was worth it though and I began lubing the dildo.

"It looks just like you, dude. I can’t wait to feel it inside me," Corey commented.

I glanced at the clear rubber dildo then looked up at Corey and grinned, "Maybe if it was the right color and a little bit shorter."

Corey giggled, "You know what I mean."

I kissed his thigh then said, "I know," and moved the dildo down to his hole. I pressed when his hole expanded but the dildo bent and didn’t go in. Figuring that the thing wasn’t near as stiff as a thumb, I adjusted my grip so that I was holding most of the shaft then tried again.

This time it slid in and again, Corey inhaled sharply then sighed. I looked up at him and waited until he glanced down at me. He nodded slightly so I pushed a little bit more inside him. He hummed then whispered, "More."

Adjusting my grip, I slowly pushed the remaining three or so inches inside. "That’s all Cor," I said.

Smiling down at me, Corey giggled, "It’s so much better than a little bowling pin!" We both laughed. Then Corey reached down and started stroking his cock. The dildo started to slide out of him and I let it but when it stopped, I then slowly pushed it back in again. "Yeah, dude. Go ahead, like that," Corey whispered. At first, I watched carefully and let the dildo slide out then pushed it back in. But my hand was greased with lube and slipped once, pushing the dildo in sharply. Corey gasped and I quickly apologized, explaining how my hand slipped.

"It didn’t hurt dude," Corey heaved, "It was good too. You can take a little more control, if you want."

I smiled; "Let me know if you need me to stop," then firmly grasped the dildo and pulled it almost all the way out. Watching Corey’s face, I pushed it back in, slightly more quickly and pulled it out again the same way. I went on like that, adjusting the speed and force with Corey’s facial expressions. Sometimes he looked like he was experiencing pure bliss. Other times, when I moved more quickly, it was surprise and happiness, like being scared in a haunted house then laughing at himself for being frightened. That’s when he’d whisper, "So good." For a few minutes, I continued on searching for other variations in speed, force or direction, occasionally kissing or licking his nads while he stroked away. Corey was obviously enjoying it all. It was another fantastic way we could make each other feel good.

Sometimes we all need to have someone remind us how to feel good. Every day something different happens. Sometimes it might be because of a challenge, like doing an oral report at school. After making it through an unpleasant experience, sharing yourself with someone puts some happiness in an otherwise dismal day. Other times it might be a reward for making an outstanding play during a baseball game. Then again, it might be just to say, thanks for spending the day with me. This was one of those days where nothing really challenging happened. But we had enjoyed ourselves at the lake, dinner and the movies. Finally, I felt like Corey was telling me more of what he had been holding back and that’s really important to me.

Stroking his cock at a constant pace, I could tell he was getting closer to loosing it. Matching his tempo, I pushed the dildo in with every down stroke. Really, the dildo was only moving outward about two inches before I had to push it back in.

Speaking louder than he had all night, Corey breathlessly said, "I love you so much Drew." He paused, grunted then hollered, "I want you inside me!" and unloaded all over his chest and stomach. With my head still resting on his thigh, it was a site to behold. Even better was feeling his after orgasm trembling. He quaked and shook for at least a full minute after he stopped stroking his bone.

By this point, I was more stoked than I had ever been before and incredibly horny! Letting go of the dildo, I shifted and took his still hard bone from him, squeezing from the base to the head, milking every last drop from him. Feeling the need to taste of little of his jizz, I grinned at him. He smiled back at me and I think he was about to say something when I stuffed his leaking tool into my mouth. I didn’t suck it at all though because I knew he would be ultra-sensitive. I just let his cock rest in my mouth while I continued milking the base with my hand. He tasted so good!

Finally, I shuffled up next to him then kissed him. After a few seconds, I broke our kiss then smiled down at him. "I really love you too," I whispered.

Corey’s eyes filled with tears and he pulled me down. Within a few seconds, he was sobbing. I never would’ve expected this from him. Worse, since my face was in his neck, I couldn’t tell if these were happy tears or sad ones. I tried to pull back to look at him but he held me tighter.

"You okay?" I softly asked.

Moments later, he whispered, "Yes and no."

"Tell me what’s wrong. I didn’t hurt you, did I?"

"No, you were great. Nothing ever hurt, honest."

"What’s wrong then?"

"It keeps getting better," Corey said. "I guess I’m scared it won’t always be this way. Our first experiences, every one of them, has always been more than I imagined."

I giggled, "And that’s a bad thing?"

"You’ll eventually get bored and leave me," he whispered.

Hearing him say that in a soft, quivering voice stunned me. I didn’t know how to react. Part of me was angry and another part tried to understand why he was afraid of me leaving him.

I pushed up and looked down at him saying, "Remember I said I like boys a little more than girls?" He nodded and I continued, "It’s not all boys, it’s you dude. Very few other dudes at school catch my interest the same as you. We’ve got more than sex, don’t we?"

He smiled weakly, nodded and said, "Lots more."

"We’re both gonna change Cor. We’re both gonna get older and eventually start driving. Then we’ll be able to do even more things together, not just baseball or tennis or school or hanging out at home. I wanna try and get to do those things with you, dude."

"And until then?"

"Everything stays the same, mostly. We start high school in the fall. No more little league but there’s a high school baseball team."

"That’s cool but not what I meant," Corey said. After a moments pause, he asked, "What about Susie?"

"What about her? I haven’t seen her since school ended. Not because I don’t like her but because I’d rather be with you."

He searched my face for a long few moments, long enough for me to realize my erection was almost gone. "I only want to be with you," Corey finally whispered.

"I’m with ya dude. Just try not to worry about the future so much. That’s what Keith did and it made him wacky. We can’t foresee everything. There’s gonna be plenty of real things to worry about."

"Such as?"

"Prez is starting a gay straight alliance at school in the fall. Of course, I’d like to join but I’m scared to join at the same time."

Corey nodded, "Kids that knew me in grade school still pestered me in junior high. I expect it’ll be the same in high school, whether I join the club or not."

"I don’t want us to become targets dude. I might change my mind about that someday but I don’t know."

"Susie’s gonna figure it out, if she hasn’t already."

That sent a frightening chill down my spine. I wanted to say, "don’t worry about Susan," but now I was worried about something real and had to think.

Corey suggested, "You need to talk with her soon dude. Tell her that you don’t think of her that way but you’d like to stay friends."

"What if she asks, why not?"

"Make something up."

"I can’t lie to friends. I can barely exaggerate without grinning."

Nodding and grinning, Corey said, "You can tell her the truth then."

Shaking my head, I said, "No way, not yet. I gotta find out if she’d be cool about it before even mentioning it."

After a painfully long pause, Corey sighed, "Mondays and Friday’s, while I’m at the doctor’s, you need to spend time with her."

I glared at him and slowly smiled.

"You’d better tell me every detail of what happens every time you see her though!" Corey loudly said, and I cracked up. "Seriously!" Corey hollered then he grabbed my arm and glared at me saying, "That’s my biggest fear. More than arguments or big fights or vacations away from each other, I worry that you’re gonna decide to play straight."

"That’s all it would be, Cor. All I could do is pretend," I reassured. He smiled happily and another thought crossed my mind. "We could both have girl friends, at least for a while?" I softly suggested.

He giggled a little at first then started laughing and got up off the bed. Picking up the dildo, Corey went to the bathroom saying, "I don’t like girls though Drew! Not even a little bit. I talk to them at school when I have to but that’s all."

Getting up and joining him in the bathroom, I asked, "You really don’t find any girls attractive?"

Turning on the hot water at the sink, he said, "Attractive physically, yeah but I don’t like the way they talk or even think." Taking the bar of soap, he began washing the dildo and said, "I’ve never felt my dick move once for any babe on TV. Using your dad’s sliding scale, I’m peggin’ the gay side, face it."

Excitedly, I said, "But you want me to spend time with Susan? Omigod! What if some day she tries something?"

Corey glared at me then chuckled, "Go for it dude." He surprised me again! After a short pause to rinse the dildo, he forcefully stated, "But you have to tell me if it happens. And tell me everything you thought while doing it. Be honest too!"

"I couldn’t do it, Cor."

He turned off the water saying, "Yeah, ya could. If she’s grinding against you and showing you that she wants it, you could. Hell, I probably could if she was good lookin’ enough!"

"I thought you said you couldn’t get it up for a girl?"

"I can’t!" Corey giggled, "but if she goes for it and treats it nice, its gonna get hard!"

We had talked about girls and specifically about Susan before but never quite like this! I was totally stunned and probably stood there with my mouth wide open. But Corey wasn’t done surprising me yet. He now seemed happy about our conversation and waved the cleaned dildo about a foot in front of my face. Oh yeah! He hadn’t finished me off yet!

Grabbing me around the waist, Corey softly said, "That’s why I’ve held stuff back, dude; because you are bi and may want to have sex with a girl. It scares me. You may like it. I could do it but would probably be imagining a row of dicks across my mind. My greatest hope is that you won’t like it too much or that you’ll be dreaming of me while doing it. If that’s what happens, if you really don’t like it, you won’t be able to tear me off you. I’ll want to hold you, to kiss you, everywhere we go, all the time."

Tears welled up in my eyes. Finally, it was out in the open. I understood how he felt and nodded then hugged him tightly saying, "I’m in no rush to be with Susan or any other girl, honest. I won’t deny that some day I might want to. But that’s not any time in the foreseeable future. Right now, tonight and tomorrow and most of next week, I’ll want to be with you, okay?"

I held his trembling body close to mine, seemingly holding up about half his weight. Saying all that really took a lot out of him. At the time, I wasn’t feeling horny at all. I felt cared for. We stood there, naked in the bathroom doorway for a long few minutes so I had time to think.

He cared so much that he couldn’t bring himself to say it to me directly. It took a new shared sexual experience and a full week of trying to understand each other better before he finally told me all of what was on his mind. It wasn’t just changing bodies, hairy chests or who would be taller than whom. As worried as I was about his health, he was worried about our relationship. Worried that I’d decide to have a girlfriend. I whispered, "I promise to tell you about any girl I want to be with, no matter when it happens, for as long as me and you are together. You’ll always know the truth, as soon as possible. That’s not today though Corey. I want for us to be boyfriends in every way."

He smiled up at me and we kissed several short and long kisses. Even though I was more than happy to just hold him, I softly said, "Make love to me. Like I just did with you. I want to get used to the feeling soon so we can both go all the way the same night." After a short pause to consider what I wanted to say, I told Corey the truth. "I want it to be special and mutual, when we’re both totally ready. Then we’ll go all the way." I grinned playfully and nodded my head quickly saying, "With any luck, it might happen before my birthday."

Corey giggled and I stepped backwards, leading him back to bed. "It sounds so awesome when you say things like that," Corey said.

"It’s true. I care about you like any one in my family. But we have quite a bit more, don’t you think?"

Corey got wide eyed and said, "I can’t picture John or Keith playing with your butt so yeah, I think a lot more!" We both cracked up and he pushed me backward onto the bed.

During my second experience, I was still a bit afraid of the dildo. Corey was real careful and seemed to be able to control the initial insertion speed better than I had, moving it further inside me in the smallest increments. As soon as I got used to it in one position, he’d push in a few centimeters more until finally, it was all the in. He left it there at my request and started massaging my dick. Soon, my hips started moving. I felt the dildo sliding out of me a little but as my ass moved back down again, the dildo slid back in. It felt great! All by itself, it was moving in and out while my hips moved up and down. I told Corey this and he was really happy that he could move to concentrate on my dick. But when he took the head of my bone into his mouth, I started moving even more; trying to get more of my dick in his mouth one moment then trying to get more of the dildo up my ass the next. It only took a few minutes of that before I loudly warned him I was going to shoot. Corey didn’t move a muscle. For a fraction of a second, I thought I might blow the back of his head off with the cum shot of the century! I came hard. Corey coughed but stayed on me. Not to sound too gay or anything, but it was fabulous! When I finally came down I told Corey that in just those words.

I’m not quite as scared of anal sex anymore. It can feel really good, at least with Corey. I’m so glad he told me all those things!

Mom and dad are home now! Fuck! I wrote the whole day! No wonder my writing hand aches and my stomach is growling! I’m gonna call Corey and probably invite him over for dinner. I’ll probably show him this too. I think I remembered everything right. He’ll let me know if I missed something.