Mending Wounded Hearts

At the Hospital Ally opted to hang out in the truck with the boys and I went up to retrieve Brandon. I met Claire on the elevator and rode up with her.

I pulled open the door and held it for Claire.

"Oh how precious," she exclaimed quietly.

Espen was lying near the edge of his bed and Brandon was sitting in the chair leaning up against the bed with their foreheads touching, all four of their hands were clasped together.

I had to have a photo of that. 

"I’m glad you’re not angry," Claire admitted. "I had a feeling about these two the first time I saw them together in this room."

"I wasn’t sure you were aware that Espen was gay and Brandon only told me a few days ago. But then I haven't known him long."

"I’ve known about my Espen since he was small, his father wasn’t as sympathetic to his sexuality and has had little to do with him since we divorced."

"I’m very sorry to hear that, boys need a man in their life. So many grow up without that; it makes them vulnerable to predators. I really hate to wake them but I have a woman and two kids waiting downstairs."

I leaned forward and kissed Brandon on his closed eyelid. "I’m sorry buddy, it’s time for us to go. Give Espen a kiss and tell him his Mom is here."

"It’s okay, I’m awake, but I’ll take that kiss," Espen said.

Brandon leaned in and kissed Espen’s mouth sweetly but passionately, a promise of things to come perhaps.

When he was done, I kissed Espen’s forehead and told him I’d see him soon.

"Bye Rob, bye Brandon," Espen said.

"Bye Claire, bye Espen," Brandon returned.

"Goodbye guys" Claire chimed.

I waved at them and followed Brandon out.

I gave him a big hug while we waited for the elevator. He sighed a long sigh and I could tell he was completely in love with Espen.

                                         ***

"I’m hearing tummy rumbles in the back seat." Ally said.

"I’m kind of hungry myself, is diner food okay with you guys?" I asked.

"Suits me and Carter loves French fries. He could live on them if I let him."

"Sounds like Trudy’s is the place to go then."

"Is that the little diner in town right on the edge of Ojai?"

"Yup, that’s the place."

"Oh I love that place and they’re such characters."

"Excellent, I can take care of Brandon’s phone issue while we’re there," I offered quietly.

"Did you call me?" Brandon asked groggily."

"No buddy, but since you’re awake you could start rousing the other two." 

"Sure, is this Carter? What a cute little guy."

A long groan issued forth as Carter joined the world again.

"Hi, who are you?" Carter asked.

"I’m Brandon, are you Carter?"

"Uh-huh, you’re the boy that helped Rob rescue the boy from the cliff. Mom and Aunt Cammie told me about it. Was it scary?"

"Well I was scared for Rob, he was right on the cliff there with him. I was just handling the ropes."

"Mom said you were modest, too; I think what you did was great."

"Thanks, Carter."

Kelly was wide awake when we pulled into the parking lot for Trudy’s.

I had called the manager at the Verizon store and asked him to set up another phone on my account. I followed my herd into the Diner and kept them moving to the restroom.

The trough was too tall for Carter but there was a small step to handle that. He stood with his pants at his knees peeing like a big boy. And like every other boy he leaned forward and checked out what everybody had. I had to chuckle.

I supervised hand washing, then did my own and joined the boys at the table. Ally joined us right after that. She had no competition in her restroom.

Orders were taken and the usual huge basket of fries was delivered and set upon.

"I have a little business across the road, would you tell Barb I’ll have my usual?" I asked Ally.

"Sure Babe."

"Would you mind if I went with you, Rob? I’d like to talk to you about something," Kelly asked.

"Sure Kelly, it won’t take long."

Outside the diner Kelly unburdened himself on me; either way it caught me by surprise. Maybe it was me he unburdened.

"I see you watching me Rob. You think I’m going to fall apart and cry about my mom. But I’m not. She said goodbye and told me not to worry about her anymore. Just for a little while she was my Mom again and I feel okay. I might get sad once in a while but that’s normal, but I did most of my crying last night."

I didn’t know what to say, except to tell him if he needed to talk I was here for him.

I signed the papers and we picked up Brandon’s new phone. I quickly entered Espen’s number and sent him a text asking him to text back in ten minutes.

Five minutes after I handed Brandon the phone it chirped and when he read the message he grinned from ear to ear.

He smiled warmly at me and his eyes looked a little wet.

"It’s the same as mine," Kelly said.

"Mine’s littler, but I can hold it in one hand," Carter added.

"Tell me they’re discussing cell phones please," Ally giggled.

"I think so, but you can never be sure with boys."

Brandon looked up and blushed.

Ally and I discussed where we would like to go for our dinner Wednesday night.

"Do you dance?" she asked.

"No worse than the average Camel."

"So that’s probably a no then?"

"Not entirely, I was never great at the stuff where you don’t touch your partner. At true couples dancing I can honestly say I’m not bad. I can square dance and do the two step and the ten step, even a bit of salsa; although I like the music more than the dancing."

"I’m with you there Rob; that stuff is hard to keep up with but I love a good two-step or polka."

"Are you musically adventurous? Or strictly one type?" I asked.

"Almost everything, I’m not big on rap, I guess I’m not young enough."

"Did you know the Vikings performed a sort of rap prior to battle? They would insult their enemies with rhyme and meter in Old Norse."

"Hah! I knew it; you’re a big nerd aren’t you?" She giggled.

"Guilty as charged Ma’am, I throw myself on the court’s mercy."

"Don’t worry about it, I was the reigning queen of nerdy bar trivia for four years at U.W. in Seattle."

"Go Huskies!"

"Is that where you went as well?"

"Yeah, a few years ahead of you, I would guess. It was a great school. I only ever followed the baseball. They didn’t have a rugby or cricket team so, you know.

"You’re not a football fan?" She inquired.

"Not if you mean a bunch of three hundred pound guys bouncing off each other to sell beer and boner pills."

"Basketball?"

"Yawn."

"Oh my god, marry me quick! Every woman in the country will be after you!"

That little outburst had the entire diner looking at us, including the boys.

They were discussing Minecraft and went back to it after a long stare.

Ally and I giggled at each other.

Barb saved us all from further embarrassment when she started delivering food. Ally had ordered the same thing as I did. It was a bacon cheeseburger with a fried egg on the top. You just have to ask them to make the egg on the well side of medium so the yolk isn’t quite so runny. Ally didn’t get the memo and ended up wearing a substantial amount of yolk. 

I fished an ice cube out of my water glass and told her to rub it on the yolk instead of wiping it off, so it would congeal before it soaked in.

"My mom taught me that a long time ago."

"Ah, tribal knowledge," she smirked at me.

"Heloise actually, I think."

We arrived at the house with two sleepy and one supercharged boy. The dogs took to Carter immediately. Brandon explained that they had only napped for about fifteen minutes before I woke them at the hospital so he was dragging.

Ally wasn’t doing much better and I discovered I was talking to myself after a while. I woke her up enough to get her to sit on the couch with Kelly where she wouldn’t fall off. 

I suggested to Carter we should take the dogs and go for a nice stroll around the place. We walked to the historic cabin ruins where only the chimney and a bread oven remained. I had been very careful to keep the construction away from the site. Carter was fascinated and peppered me with questions. 

I could remember taking my sons through the Santa Ynez mission east of Solvang. The guide spoke about the tannery and tallow rendering and I supplied my sons with the more practical information such as how the leather was tanned, using the urea method or what tallow is and how it smells. I told them they should imagine what this work area was like midsummer when it was ninety degrees and how all the various odors from all the workshops would mingle. 

My boys got the true perspective and so did any other kid that was listening. I wasn’t always popular with other parents or the occasional teacher who didn’t want to address the grittier aspects of mission or colonial life.

Carter seemed to eat it up. He ran out of steam at the stock gate. He became very quiet and then said, "I’m very tired." I picked him up and carried him back to the house. I was able to remove my Wellingtons with the boot jack and I pulled Carter’s trainers and socks off. I sat down in one of the recliners and leaned back. Carter snuggled into me even deeper. The next thing I was aware of was Ally patting my arm. 

"I think Carter needs to pee; he’s squeezing his penis pretty tight. He’s stubborn about waking up so just be persistent."

I carried him down the hall to the guest bath, slid his shorts off and placed him on the toilet like a large toddler. He really did need to go; he was quite a while at it. By the time he was done he was mostly awake. 

"I think I need to poop, so you don’t have to stay."

"Okay Carter, we’ll be in the family room."

I explained to Ally what the delay was.

"You must have been a real hands-on Dad."

"Yes, it was the best job I ever had except for being a Grampa."

"So what did we decide on for tomorrow?" I asked

"I like the Santa Maria dinner and dancing idea but it’s a long drive."

"True but it’s a short flight and I can arrange for a car or maybe a pickup to use for the evening. I think Brandon could watch the boys. He and Kelly could keep Carter occupied."

"It sounds good to me," Ally agreed.

"If we hit Santa Paula by four, I can do the pre-flight and have us there by five-thirty. I’m IFR rated so night flying is not a concern."

"That’s good to know. What sort of airplane are we talking about?"

"I was thinking the Twin Commander would be the most comfortable. And I want to show off a little."

"That’s a big old Turbo Prop isn’t it?"

"Yes it is, have you flown in one before?"

"No, but I’ve seen them tied down and I thought they looked really cool. Is that your only plane? It’s just the way you said it I got the impression that it was just the right one for the trip."

"Very astute, I have a decent stable. I’ve got a Waco Cabinair and a Stagger Wing Beech in the radial department and a nice little Citabria aerobat and a couple of others."

"That sounds like a nice start. What’s next, are you going to buy a 747 like Travolta."

"Are you nuts, I can’t fly a 747 out of Santa Paula," I grinned.

"Seriously Rob, it sounds really nice and I love flying. I’ve always wanted to get my pilot’s license."

"I’d be willing to help if you want to build up your hours but I don’t think it’s a good Idea for people who are in a relationship to give each other instruction like driving or flying." 

"You’re probably right; I can see how that would put stress on a relationship."

"I broke my rule with Wyatt and ended up fobbing him off on another instructor. I know a lot of good instructors, both women and men."

"That sounds good, I think I might respond better to another woman if she doesn’t condescend."

"Well they say men and women process the same sentence differently. Neither is inherently inferior, just different. On another note, would you like the grand tour?"

"Sure, that sounds nice."

I started with the room we were in, showing her the huge TV and how to access it.

After showing her where she could stow her bags, I handed them to her and she put them in her guest room. 

I saved my suite for last and showed her my shower and demonstrated how it worked with the remote.

"There’s also a touch pad in the shower but the remote is waterproof."

I handed her the remote and told her which buttons did what and let her give it a try.

"Oh god, that is so cool, when can I try it out?"

"Any time you want."

"How about now? And maybe I could try you out too?"

"Is that a good idea with our boys on the move downstairs?"

"You’re such a tease, but you’re right, too."

"You probably have stuff you need in your room, but towels and robes are in that cabinet and bath soap is in the vanity. I’ll leave you to it and check on the guys."

She laid a powerful kiss on me and warned me she would get me into that shower at some point. I followed her as far as her room and I continued on downstairs.

"Where’s my Mommy?" Carter inquired.

"She’s taking a shower, something I think we could all use. Would you like to go with Kelly or Brandon and get one yourself?"

"Are you going to take a shower?"

"Yes I am."

"Can I take one with you?"

"If your mom says it’s okay, sure."

Carter bounced away flopping on the floor in front of a Pokemon show on TV.

"It looks like you’ve collected another boy Rob." Kelly had wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. 

"Can we talk to you for a minute, maybe in your office?"

I followed them to my office. 

"We talked about this a lot and we want to know if, well since you have custody of both of us…" Brandon hedged.

"We want to call you Dad instead of Rob, is it okay?" Kelly chirped.

I was completely caught off guard. "Um, if that’s what you want, I’d be honored. But only if you’re sure."

"We’re sure, I know we haven’t known you long but we love you and I can’t think of a better man to call Dad." Brandon finished.

A long hug ensued and once our eyes were dry again I spoke to Brandon.

"Paul gave me a letter this morning for you Brandon, It’s from Chuck Folger. If you’d like some privacy, you can sit here and read it."

"No, please. I’d rather you guys stayed with me. Would you read it to me please, Dad?"

It wasn’t a long letter but it was important and I hoped it would give Brandon some peace.

It was quiet for quite a while after I finished reading.

Brandon sniffed, "I knew it had to be something like that. He said he was having trouble sleeping and they gave him some pills, but when Mom died he started drinking and still taking the pills and he changed."

"Are you going back there?" Kelly asked.

"No, I don’t think so. Without Mom, there are too many memories. It would be hard to go back now and I don’t want to. I love it here and I love you guys. I need this family. The one we’ve made."

Brandon launched himself at me and seized me in his arms and hugged. He buried his face in my chest and sobbed. I could hear him saying, "This is my home," muffled by my clothes.

Brandon stood up and composed himself.

"I’m sorry Dad, I got a little… I don’t know."

"It’s okay, Son, I’m here when you need me."

Kelly came over and joined our embrace laying his head on my shoulder. "I love you Dad, I’ve never said that to anyone before.

"I love you too, Kelly, I’ll try to live up to the title. I’m truly honored."

I folded the letter and handed it to Brandon. "It has Chuck’s number on it if you decide to call him."

"I will call him. I want to tell him I’m okay. I understand that it wasn’t all him. I forgive him but I don’t want to go back. Maybe someday when I’m grown up, but not now."

"I understand, Son."

"Goodness, what did I miss?" Ally exclaimed.

"Just some family stuff, they…"

"We decided we want to call him Dad and Brandon’s stepfather sent him a letter," Kelly interrupted.

"Oh I see, I didn’t mean to intrude."

"It’s okay Ally, I think we’re done here," Brandon said. "I think we need to wash our faces or even take a shower."

"Okay guys, I’ll see you in a bit," I sighed happily.

Ally patted them as they walked past.